So. Blog. How fantastic. I was actually profoundly excited at the prospect of starting a blog until I sat down to put a first post together. It took about five seconds for me to realize that I am not actually as exciting in print as I am in my head. Why I hadn’t realized this before is beyond me, as things are ALWAYS more exciting in one’s head than in any actual form of reality. The most exciting thing that has happened to me all week was when I opened my desk drawer at the office and accidentally mistook my green Expo marker for my pack of Polo mints. I can now say with full conviction that green Expo markers freshen breath in a far superior (albeit hallucinogenic) way and that Polo and Expo should definitely merge their formulas. They wouldn’t even really have to change their names much. Exlo? Personally I like Popo. But I can be flexible.
In my defence it was easily done, and I had to take a photo just to prove my point.
In my defence it was easily done, and I had to take a photo just to prove my point.
Notice also that my desk drawer comes complete with 80s calculator and the BIGGEST wad of blu-tac known to humankind. I’m basically planning on sticking a dinosaur to my wall. The more I rummage in there, the more amazing vintage nonsense I come across. I am hoping that if I close my eyes and wish hard enough, I may dig up some Whitney Houston cassette tapes and then my work day will be complete. (Nobody’s work day is complete without Polo-Expo and “One Moment in Time”. Nobody’s.)
I found a nice little blog template, but I can’t get it to stop speaking Spanish. And the fact that my blog speaks Spanish is not enough of a reason for me to start learning it. Sorry Spain. And Latin America.
Anyway, I was all perplexed about what to write that was blog-worthy, and then I got over it by reading the Guardian online. I love LOVE those guys. And not for the reasons that you’d think. I went through a Charlie Brooker phase (here you go: http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/charliebrooker, of the recent ones I recommend the Michael Jackson one) and then gradually grew out of it, because apparently when reading Charlie’s work online everyone is obligated to comment with “Ah, yes, Charlie does it again!” or with things that equal the wit expressed in the above column. And he is witty. Disconcertingly so. I don’t think there actually is a Charlie, there’s a team of writers that were cast-off from the Family Guy for being too crass and obscure who thought, “who would take us, we are so very crass and obscure… the Guardian!” and then they invented a persona so that they could slyly infiltrate the paper. And it is working, because loads of people are trying to be Charlie, apparently. Lately I’ve become much more attached to Tanya Gold because Guardian readers seem to hate her and that makes reading the comments much more fun, and beats smug witty team-Charlie. (here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/jun/29/dirty-weekend-glastonbury-tanya-gold). Read the comments, people flay her! It’s ok Tanya, I find you endearing and relatable. But only until people start to like you, then I will turn my back on you and invent conspiracy theories to pretend you aren’t real.
But then I found this on the books blog, and this has to be the best ever. http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/jul/07/words-wince-hated-poets
Post after post of amazing reasons why people hate certain words! I personally vote for “deplane”. So clinical. Ugh. And that was my epiphany. I went from Charlie to Tanya to language analysis, and thought I’d take the easy way out. So I’ve blogged about blogs. And my office desk drawer. Enjoy.
I found a nice little blog template, but I can’t get it to stop speaking Spanish. And the fact that my blog speaks Spanish is not enough of a reason for me to start learning it. Sorry Spain. And Latin America.
Anyway, I was all perplexed about what to write that was blog-worthy, and then I got over it by reading the Guardian online. I love LOVE those guys. And not for the reasons that you’d think. I went through a Charlie Brooker phase (here you go: http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/charliebrooker, of the recent ones I recommend the Michael Jackson one) and then gradually grew out of it, because apparently when reading Charlie’s work online everyone is obligated to comment with “Ah, yes, Charlie does it again!” or with things that equal the wit expressed in the above column. And he is witty. Disconcertingly so. I don’t think there actually is a Charlie, there’s a team of writers that were cast-off from the Family Guy for being too crass and obscure who thought, “who would take us, we are so very crass and obscure… the Guardian!” and then they invented a persona so that they could slyly infiltrate the paper. And it is working, because loads of people are trying to be Charlie, apparently. Lately I’ve become much more attached to Tanya Gold because Guardian readers seem to hate her and that makes reading the comments much more fun, and beats smug witty team-Charlie. (here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/jun/29/dirty-weekend-glastonbury-tanya-gold). Read the comments, people flay her! It’s ok Tanya, I find you endearing and relatable. But only until people start to like you, then I will turn my back on you and invent conspiracy theories to pretend you aren’t real.
But then I found this on the books blog, and this has to be the best ever. http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/jul/07/words-wince-hated-poets
Post after post of amazing reasons why people hate certain words! I personally vote for “deplane”. So clinical. Ugh. And that was my epiphany. I went from Charlie to Tanya to language analysis, and thought I’d take the easy way out. So I’ve blogged about blogs. And my office desk drawer. Enjoy.
1 comments:
Dylan Thomas always used to say his favourite word was 'jelly' . . . or was it John Betjamin?
I really don't like the word 'cool', but not always. It would be acceptable to say 'that is a cool car' or 'he/she looks cool'. However, I encounter the word most often spoken by younger people who finish off nearly every conversation with the word. eg:
'I'll see you on Friday'.
'OK, that's cool'.
'I have put the file on your desk'.
'Cool'!
‘We’re playing tennis at 2.00 pm’.
‘Cool’.
Other words which are not cool in my opinion are:
‘Absolutely’ (usually uttered with a raised inflexion) , when used to simply mean ‘I agree with you’.
‘Quick’, when spoken by anyone associated with Formula 1 motor racing. Cars never go ‘fast’, or ‘quickly’, but they are always ‘quick’.
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